Thank You Washington Post

I'd like to extend a heart-felt thank you to the Washington Post for their continuous dedication to the visual arts in DC. In today's Washington Post, one finds the weekly Arts section. This Sunday it is 12 pages long. Visual arts coverage amounted to 237 total words, two writers and two images. Blake Gopnik, chief art critic, exhausted himself with a 73-word preview of a show at GWU and Paul Richard chimed in with 164 words in his "From the Collection" piece.

237 words out of a 12-page Arts section in one of the country's most important newspapers? DC's art scene may be warming, but the Post doesn't seem eager to participate. I'm curious, how much money did Gopnik get paid for his 73-word contribution to the Post this week?

Comments

[Lenny]

Join the chorus! They just don't get it! Write the Arts Editor a letter! Make noise!

[wwc]

I say we start sticker-bombing their boxes and their homes and cars... put visual art right in their faces...

ok, just kidding about the personal attack - but this is ridiculous. I used to live in Albnay NY, which has much, much less visual art activity, and the paper there printed a lot more about it. Hell, even here in lil Charlottesville va we have 2 columns a WEEK about visual art.

AAAAAAAA!

[andy moon wilson]

Actually, I think perhaps a guerilla-style initiative might be long overdue. Art-Terrorism, taken to the streets in a big big way. Dig this: DC is a swirling vortex of boring lameness. Anything even remotely edgy is summarily quashed in this area, snuffed out either through caustic apathy or outright, kneejerk resistance by THE MAN (case in point: the pathetic "protests" to the inauguration, where would-be protesters politely allowed themselves to be corralled out of sight and out of mind)IT IS OUR FAULT THAT THE WASHINGTON POST(and Washington)IS SO LAME. We need to give them something to write about. Something crazy that they can't sweep under the rug. Just like the protesters at the inauguration, the visual arts in this city have been successfully marginalized. Anybody have any ideas to shake things up?
Here's a proposal:
Several small groups of individuals should visit the Hirschorn museum on a day when one of the galleries is empty and closed off between shows. At a predetermined time, everyone should meet in the gallery and rapidly install a large show of drawings on post-its, slap them on the walls, snap a few pictures with several different cameras and beat it. No damage will be done to the walls, nobody will be hurt, and no undue ruckus will be caused. The important thing is to get the show up, and to have somebody escape the building with pictures. Then post the pictures of the show all over the internet, and send a package to the Post, press release style, with a well written review about the show.
Variations of this tactic, repeated several times throughout the city, would be impossible for the papers to ignore, and might spark attention for a DC ART INSURGENCY.

Any other ideas?
-AMW

[wwc]

I like it. No damage, just trouble.

[Lenny]

I'm in!

[J.T. Kirkland]

Oh Lord, Andy! The boss goes away and you're already trying to start trouble. I actually like the idea. If there is some interest this should probably be taken offline as I know people at the Hirshhorn read this.

I definitely think the Corcoran could use some cutting-edge contemporary art!

[Lenny]

Let the plotting start!

[Joseph Barbaccia]

I have dibs on pink Post-its.

[wwc]

I call blue

[Jame W. Bailey]

The Plotting Has Started!

The Society of the Spectacle for Those Who Wear Corrective Art Lenses

Mr. Moon Wilson is on to something quite profound.

I would suggest that we ratchet his idea up a notch or two.

The outsider art community needs to collectively and/or individually conspire propagandized scenarios that facilitate the implosive of the DC Artfanistas.

This Band of Outsiders would then be in a preeminent position to radicalize the DC art structure.

The key to a successful conspiracy involves mediatizing the reality of invented facts so that the manufactured truth is irrelevant no matter how fearful the proposed lie.

In other words, fool the media into running with a certain version of a story. By the time they’ve figured out what the truth is, the damage is already done and the revolution is begun.

With a dedicated art media propaganda machine in place, similar revolutionary art projects could be easily replicated throughout DC.

The following is but one example of a “leaked” internal memorandum that could be easily circulated to the general and art press:

DRAFT - INTERNAL MEMORANDUM

PLEASE SHRED THIS DOCUMENT AFTER READING. ELECTRONIC VERSIONS WILL NOT BE DISTRIBUTED.

To: The Board of Trustees of the Corcoran Gallery of Art

From: David C. Levy, President and Director of the Corcoran Gallery of Art

RE: RESTORING THE CUTTING-EDGE REPUTATION OF THE CORCORAN GALLERY OF ART

Dear Board of Trustees,

As all of you know, Ms. Lumpkin has agreed in principal to work with us to realize a complicated scenario whereby we hope to restore the cutting-edge reputation of the Corcoran Gallery of Art, engender new excitement about the work of the WPA/Corcoran Association and realize the personal career aspirations of Ms. Lumpkin.

In short, Libby and I believe we have developed a perfect scenario that will achieve much for all.

The proposed plan is not without risk; however, I believe that if everyone plays their role as scripted, our success is virtually guaranteed.

I’m presenting the scenario in a narrative format. Per our last meeting at the Lincoln Memorial, you are reminded to not email or leave any phone messages about this plan to any parties. Should any of you have any questions, please call me from a pay phone on my personal cell phone.

From this point forward this plan will be referred to as OPERATION GOPNIK.

The name was Libby’s suggestion. We both realize how absolutely essential Blake Gopnik’s gullibility will be to furthering the success of the plan.

OPERATION GOPNIK – A Narrative

Ms. Libby Lumpkin, hired by the WPA/Corcoran Association as the stand-in curator for the OPTIONS 05 exhibition after the former OPTIONS 05 curator, Mr. Philip Barlow, is fired by the Board of Trustees of the Corcoran Gallery of Art for making a series of controversial remarks in a Washington Post interview, is hired by the Board of Trustees of the Corcoran Gallery of Art, after her critically acclaimed success with OPTIONS 05, to curate a Corcoran Gallery of Art exhibition titled, “Your Fired, Goddamnit!”

“You’re Fired, Goddamnit!” will feature works of highly controversial and politically incorrect art nominated by curators from around the world who have been fired by art institutions for making controversial statements or engaging in politically incorrect actions.

Just prior the opening of “You’re Fired, Goddamnit!”, Ms. Lumpkin will be personally fired by Dr. David C. Levy, President and Director of the Corcoran Gallery of Art, after she is reported in a Washington Post article by Blake Gopnik as having made a series of slanderous remarks about her tumultuous affair with Frank O. Gehry in which she refers to him as a “pimp-my-ride architect whose visions are derived from the inhalation end of a crack pipe”.

In a brilliant public relations face-saving move, Dr. Levy will direct Ms. Annie Adjchavanich, Executive Director of the WPA/Corcoran Association, to publicly announce the selection of the “You’re Fired, Goddamnit!” stand-in curator, Mr. Philip Barlow, at a highly publicized kiss and make-up press conference where they appear together.

Shortly after her controversial firing, Ms. Lumpkin will begin her celebrity curator cross-county book tour promoting her ghost written autobiography, “A Day in the Life of An Art Whore,” in which she spills out all the beans on the sordid inside story of her torrid affair with Frank Gehry and her behind the scenes first person account of the secret political machinations within the world of Washington, D.C. art.

Mr. Barlow will continue forward with “You’re Fired, Goddamnit!” by wiping the slate clean of Ms. Stevens’ tainted selections and substituting instead his original curatorial vision for OPTIONS 05… as if nothing ever happened.

Libby assures me that she’ll have no problem with seducing Frank Gehry, if needed. However, in my mind it is questionable at this point whether Gehry would willingly agree to cooperate in OPERATION GOPNIK at any level. It is also questionable if he would allow himself to be steered into a real affair by Libby. I’m not sure I’m convinced what kind of woman Gehry finds attractive. Libby may be over confident about her abilities on this point. Blake Gopnik and his Washington Post editor will certainly demand proof of an alleged affair prior running a story. Unless Gehry can be convinced to voluntarily participate in OPERATION GOPNIK, we will have to be prepared to proceed without his cooperation. This means manufacturing something like digital “proof” of an affair between Libby and Gehry if Libby is unsuccessful in actually initiating a recorded event or if Gehry refuses to cooperate with the fiction of their affair.

The composition of evidence proving the Lumpkin/Gehry affair will be our most challenging component of the plan.

I’ll look forward to our final meeting this Sunday night at the DC Fish Market on the authorization of OPERATION GOPNIK. Libby is anxious to move forward and I think we all realize that time is of the essence.

With Best Regards,

DCL

Of course, we could forgo complicated conspiracies and just all storm the Corcoran and take it over; but that action would only get the participants 15 minutes of fame on CNN featuring a mass perp walk to federal detention…I doubt Fox News would even cover it!

Sincerely,

James W. Bailey