Oh man, this isn't serious, is it?

Go ahead and start emailing the hate letters or comments... I can't believe I received the following call for entry today (pdf):

What: The Ellipse Arts Center is seeking proposals for our summer 2005 exhibition, an Arlington-specific nine-hole miniature golf course: The Tour of Arlington Classic Mini-Putter. [emphasis their's]

Eligibility: This exhibition is open to all amateur and professional artists working in any three-dimensional medium who live or work in Virginia, Maryland or the District of Columbia.

We will provide the basic structure for each fairway and green as well as the “landscaping” for the finished nine-hole course. Artists will be expected to design and fabricate only the decorative artistic elements and obstacles.

A total of nine (9) proposals will be accepted for completion within the timeline stated below. Artists may submit proposals for one or more holes.

Artists will receive $1000 ($500 upon acceptance and $500 upon installation) for each hole they are contracted to create.

Conditions: To be considered, a proposal must be thematically linked and easily identifiable with an Arlington neighborhood (Crystal City, Rosslyn, Westover, etc.), landmark (Bon Air Rose Garden, the Weenie Beenie, Walker Chapel, Fire Station #8), historic event (school integration, the Wright Brother’s test flights), geographic (Four Mile Run, the Potomac River) or manmade feature (the bike path, the metro system, a dog park, Rte 50, public art), or an Arlington “quirk” (the “Arlington Way,” taco wagons, yard art). If none of these ring a bell, you can take a drive around Arlington or call staff for guidance.

There are more conditions in the call for entry but you get the idea. I can't even begin to express how disappointed I am right now. This gallery is a beautiful, big space. I was just recently in a juried, contemporary art exhibit at the Ellipse and right now they are hanging a popular juried photography exhibit. This gallery only shows approximately 4 exhibits each year and I can't believe they aren't making better use of the gallery space during the summer months. Sure, the summer months are slow, but why not use this time to put up a sophisticated, cutting-edge exhibit?

Miniature golf? Geez...

Advanced warning to all artists considering this show: Keep in mind that although you will be paid $1000 to participate, understand that this is extremely similar to the controversial public "art" projects PandaMania and the Party Animals. In the future, a curator (if he/she isn't unjustly fired) may decide to exclude you from an exhibition opportunity because you participated in this non-art show. The chances are slim that this will occur, but at least now you can think about the possibility first. You can be certain I will NOT be submitting a proposal.

Message to the Ellipse Arts Center: I know it is extremely tough to attract foot traffic to your location. You definitely have a huge challenge there. However, I think you should have put more thought into this and put together a significant, contemporary art show that contributes to the regional arts discourse. Serious artists are dying to show their work... I doubt it would have been that hard. Maybe I underestimate...

I've been a supporter of the Ellipse Arts Center for some time and I think the gallery holds great potential. But I would be dishonest to myself and my beliefs if I didn't scrutinize this decision. I just can't condone it.

Lastly, I wanted to point out that I can't find the stated goal of the show in any written literature. Perhaps it's just to have fun (and that's fine), but it should be stated what the point of the show is.

Comments

[Franklin]

I feel your pain, but you realize, of course, that this presents an exquisite opportunity for parody submissions. Especially the Fire Station #8 neighborhood. I'm thinking of an installation involving twenty tanks of butane and a stack of dry timber.

[wwc]

Franklin's right - if the app is free, let's flood them with bogus proposals.

[Dan]

A recent PBS tribute to the late Ed Paschke here in Chicago featured a conversation between artists Wesley Kimler and Tony Fitzpatrick remembering their good friend. At one point they related how shocked they both were when they learned that Ed had agreed to paint a fiberglass cows for the city's "Cows on Parade" street project. (If you'll recall: Pandas vs. Cows recently at Grammar.police—and don't even mention the that whole Barlow fiasco.)

Paschke, of course, had something of a trick up his sleeve, unveiling a lovely cow totally covered in Chicago gang signs. If anyone could get away with such a thing, it was the top man on the Chicago art ladder. Why not take advantage?

[J.T. Kirkland]

While I'm not holding my breath, I will go over to the gallery when it is up to see if anyone does something worthy of attention. Who knows, it could happen.

I mean, I play a mean game of mini golf!! And in the air conditioning? Sounds like a cheap date to me!

Does anyone know what a "Mini-Putter" is?

[Lisa]

The sad thing is that this is a ten year old concept taken from Baltimore, where it was extremely fun and successful outdoor art experience on the Inner Harbour.
Ed Bisese designed it. It was called "A Condensed History of Baltimore". It was on view from 1996-1997.

A few of the artists I recall who participated were:

Ed Bisese, one hole had one of his giant cartoonish heads
Art Attack (featuring a deconstructed Baltimore row house, with sound by Alberto Gaitan)
Jay Wolf Schlossberg-Cohen (did a Cab Calloway hole)
Joyce J Scott

It was, by far, the most artistic miniature golf experience and the coolest tourist attraction on the Inner Harbor.

But it was OUTDOORS! I can't imagine an indoor one being as successful,

[J.T. Kirkland]

That's interesting about Baltimore doing this already. I wonder if this is going to be a new trend the cities all over the world pick up on... nah!

I thought the key phrase from your post, Lisa, was "coolest tourist attraction..." While I'm all for bringing art to the masses, when it becomes a tourist attraction (I think the goal of this exhibit is to be a tourist attraction), it marginalizes the art of the thing. Know what I mean?

If the artistic merits of the exhibition bring in masses of people... fantastic! If the exhibition brings in masses of people who want to escape the heat and play free golf... then I'm a bit concerned.

I wonder how the mission statement of the Ellipse merges with this exhibit. Oh James... where are you? We need your non-profit sleuthing expertise!!

[Ken]

there was the X-rated miniature golf course at Burning Man Festival...

May 28 - September 6, 2004 the The Walker Art Center did a golf course

In 1992, "Putt-Modernism," was on view at Artists Space in NY where Frank
Gehry, Cindy Sherman and Michael Graves each did a hole!

In 2000, Golf Zeum: a hole in (c)one – a 7-hole miniature golf course designed by Bay Area artists was at Zeum @ Yerba Buena Gardens – the San Francisco youth center for art and technology

the DeCordova Museum and Sculpture Park in Lincoln, Massachusetts had one called Strokes of Genius

[Jame W. Bailey]

Dear J.T.,

My proposal to the Ellipse Arts Center goes in the mail tomorrow.

Sincerely,

James

“I Put a Cap in Chris Burden’s Ass at an Art Exhibit – What Did You Do Today?”

by James W. Bailey

A Littoral Art Project Proposal for The Tour of Arlington Classic Mini-Putter

Radical 70s chic urban art cleverly intersects with modern day white American suburban dysfunctional family miniature golf fun in a controversial performance art/Littoral Art Project that explores the contemporary hyper-ventilating dialogue that echoes among those who live for the adrenalin rush of being witness to an act of domestic terrorism.

PROJECT NARRATIVE

Recently unemployed artist/art teacher Chris Burden will be solicited to stand at the end of a miniature putt-putt fairway that is designed to look like an airport runway.

Burden will face a wall on which a film of a 747 taking off from the Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport as seen from a rich neighborhood in Arlington, Virginia, will be projected in an endless loop.

Burden’s back will be to the audience/participant children golfers (ages 5 – 10 and must be children of Arlington County based private country club member parents).

Burden will be given what he believe to be a fake .38 caliber handgun and will repeatedly “shoot” at the 747 while reciting random quotes from a series of children’s books, including Thomas the Tank Engine and the Magic School Bus series.

Children golfers will be encouraged to putt.38 caliber hollow-point 180 gram rounds toward the golf hole near Burden’s feet at the end of the runway/fairway.

Burden will then turn toward the children and start pointing the fake .38 caliber gun at them and begin to taunt and harasses them about how they will never amount to anything.

Burden will then start to scream at the children to stop acting like babies, quit putting the .38 caliber rounds at him, grow a spine and pick up a real gun and actually do something with it.

As Burden is facing the children, the video of the 747 will fade out and a new video will be projected that features a reenactment of the UCLA art student gun incident that is told from the perspective of, and narrated by, Chris Burden’s official spokesperson and Gagosian Gallery in Beverly Hills director, Ms. Sarah Watson, in which she expresses how outraged Chris Burden is over the issue of guns and domestic terrorism.

Burden will then throw his fake .38 caliber gun toward the children when the video of Ms. Watson ends.

Burden will then turn around and face the blank wall, place his hands in the air and scream at the top of his lungs for just one brave child to have the guts to pick up the .38 caliber gun, place a hollow-point round into the cylinder, pull back the hammer, pull the trigger and put a cap in his ass.

The fake .38 caliber gun is not in fact fake; indeed, it is a very real Smith & Wesson, as are the .38 caliber hollow-point rounds.

A new video will begin that is a mock commercial offering a free Xbox with a lifetime free supply of compatible games to the first child that picks up the Smith & Wesson, loads it with a hot round, fires it and successfully hits Burden in the ass.

The children will be allowed to fight over who gets to fire the weapon first.

CONCLUSION

I believe that “I Put a Cap in Chris Burden’s Ass at an Art Exhibit – What Did You Do Today?” illustrates the profound power of contemporary art to reflect the urgencies and exigencies of the horrors and terrors of the modern American experience.

I understand that this art exhibition entails a certain degree of risk – namely that one of the children may prove to be an accurate shot and actually hit Burden with a lucky round.

But I would respectfully submit to the exhibition review panel that the risk is certainly far lower for Mr. Burden than the everyday risk that many African-American children in high-crime neighborhoods in Arlington face everyday of their lives on their walk to and from school.

I believe that “I Put a Cap in Chris Burden’s Ass at an Art Exhibit – What Did You Do Today?” will creatively engage spoiled suburban white children in an exploration of guns and domestic terrorism at a very real level that few, if any, have ever experienced.

I appreciate your consideration of this proposal. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Sincerely,

James W. Bailey
Experimental Photographer
Littoral Art Project Artist

[Joseph Barbaccia]

This "discussion" brings up a question along the lines of the (gulp) Party Animal and Pandamania discussions. I know that some people looked upon the participation of artists in these two "Public Art? Projects" as an anathema. Artists weren't supposed to degrade themselves this way. And because other people called it art, the artists were degrading "Art" (With a capital "A") as well. If we would all wake up to the fact that it is the artist that determines what is and isn't art. Hello. . ., it's been almost 100 years since Duchamp. If it's wood with drilled holes or torn photos; who’s to say? The artist, that's who! I know that everyone of us is all for the artist to take responsibility and "storm the ramparts" but when an artist says that a painted panda is art or a mini-golf course is art you jump all over it. Allow the artist to make this decision please.
Or is it the money? Is it OK for an artist to make money teaching but not painting a large sculpture? Is it OK for an artist to make money waiting tables but not building mini golf holes? I don't look down on someone because they're trying to make a buck. Let me see the Pandas or mini-golf holes first and enjoy them or not, but not condemn them before they're created.

Sheesh.

[J.T. Kirkland]

Ah Joseph, thank for bringing this up. This is exactly what my girlfriend brought up last night, trying to convince me that this is Art. But I disagree and here's why:

The artists in the Pandamania project or mini golf show do not create all of the art. They are given a pre-fabbed Panda or golf hole. They are then told to decorate it. You say, but Duchamp didn't make the urinal and you (J.T.) didn't make the wood! Well, no, but we - Duchamp and I, we're old friends - got to select what we wanted to use. I pick very specific wood and he chose a specific urinal. That choice is the difference.

I'd feel better about the Pandas and mini-golf if the artists got to make all the decisions. I'd like for the artist to be able to determine what the shape of a panda is. I'd like for the minigolf artists to determine the layout of the holes and everything. That would introduce choice into the equation. As it stands we're just looking at decoration for hire and I believe that the month and a half exhibition timeframe could have been put to better use. I think everyone can agree that there are better uses for such a big gallery space in the Washington, DC area where artists are starving for exhibition opportunities.

Like I said, I'm hoping to be surprised by a hole or two and I'll go check it out. We'll see...

[James W. Bailey]

Dear Joseph,

I appreciate your comments. I’ll leap to the assumption that by referring to “torn photos” you are referring to me.

For the record, I have never looked down upon any artist for creating his or her art. I have had tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of words, published online. I would defy anyone to produce a statement that I have written – in context – that substantiates a claim of me condemning an artist and their work outside the discussion of that artist and their work as related to an issue of blatant hypocrisy on the part of the artist.

What I have done is condemn blatant hypocrisy in the art world when I am confronted by overwhelming and incontrovertible evidence of it – which is almost on a daily basis in the metro Washington, D.C. region.

You and I could talk for days about this issue, with particular recent emphasis on a certain local arts center in Reston that is back in the news…again.

As regards my Littoral Art Project, “I Put a Cap in Chris Burden’s Ass at an Art Exhibit – What Did You Do Today?”…well, believe it or not, and I’m being serious here, it is my submission to the Ellipse Arts Center. I’m sure you’re aware of recent rumored/semi-reported events concerning an art student of Chris Burden who supposedly brought a “gun” to class at UCLA.

My project intersects with contemporary American suburban fears and myths. I am proud of it and hope the Ellipse Arts Center will have the courage to approve it. Nothing is more sacrosanct to the upper white middle class than exclusive private country clubs. My project attempts to explore and exploit the myths about private country club golf courses as being safe enclaves of predictability. Introducing guns to the private country club golf course will expose an insulated privileged audience to the horrors and realities of real domestic terrorism.

For those good sensitive liberal white folks who are unwilling or just too plan scared to drive through certain neighborhoods of South East Washington, the Golden Triangle of New Orleans or hundreds of other “dangerous” neighborhoods across the country in order to experience the real life drama of life on the street at the street level, they can vicariously experience the life altering reality of gun drama through the safety and security of the gallery setting and participate in the real time scripted performance art piece called, “I Put a Cap in Chris Burden’s Ass at an Art Gallery – What Did You Do Today?”.

Of course, I will probably have to hire an actor to play the role of Chris Burden. He apparently at this stage of his career only speaks through official spokeswomen.

I only admire people –especially artists - such as you who are willing to go on record. I respect you and your point of view and appreciate you stating it.

Sincerely,

James W. Bailey

[J.T. Kirkland]

Ken,

Point taken! Thanks for the list of other examples of mini-golf in art.

Two thoughts come to mind though:

1) I doubt that any of those art spaces took up their entire gallery or museum and dedicated it to mini-golf. I'm not positive, and maybe you can clarify, but by your descriptions it seems that the mini-golf was part of a larger art exhibit. I'me curious if the Ellipse's walls are going to be left empty for a month and a half.

2) There are better exhibits to be put on.

I'm just rubbed the wrong way by this. The space is so good and the potential is so big. I hope that this is a blip on the calendar and that the fall will bring some interesting shows to the Ellipse.

[christine]

two words.

coloring. book.

[J.T. Kirkland]

Christine,

That's a great analogy... I wish I had thought of it.

There is a distinct difference between having artists fill in a coloring book that was designed by someone else, and doing a show where the theme is "Coloring Books" and the artists have the freedom to do what they want under that theme.

[Lenny]

When I was a kid in Catholic school in Brooklyn (Our Lady of Loretto to be exact) I used to create my own comic books, which always included a lot of naked girls. You should have see my interpretation of the "Three Musketeers"!

I then used to sell them for five bucks to the other repressed Catholic kids in the school during recess. I have always had a soft spot in my heart for comic books - and yet I see the point of both sides of this Pandakind debate. I will admit that in this case I definately take JT's side about the Ellipse and the curiosity of this project, which can turn out to be interesting if what some of you have been discussing here takes place and do as Bailey has done and send in some "projects."

Fun with art.

[Joseph barbaccia]

JT,

What are you feelings about muralists?

Think out of the box. Is Michaelangelo's Last Judgement not art because he didn't make or choose the wall? It's art because he accepted the perameters and worked within them.

Ask any muralist. I would think that almost all haven't made the walls they created on and most hadn't even the choice of walls. Art? No?

Think of the Pandas et al as blank canvas or walls. The artists accepted the perameters and went to work.

What perameters are you not control of and accepting while creating?

---------------------------------

JB,

I want to be there for the performance. Violence is a concept with which all of us spirits with bodies have to contend.

[Scott]

JT,
I'm not sure "choice" is the real issue here. Picking up on Joseph's Michelangelo example, didn't some of the great masters paint what they were told/paid to paint. They often did not have a choice as to the subject matter. Does this make it any less great Art?
Scott

[J.T. Kirkland]

Joseph,

Great question! This is a tough one and was brought up by my girlfriend as well. It's tough to say that the Last Judgement is not art. And I won't quite go there except to say you ask a brilliant question that puts me between a rock and hard place.

Let me say this. Murals, to me, are essentially (often) a lot like commission work. You know, someone says I'll pay you $X to paint ABC. My personal feeling on commissions is that I will not do them. Or if I do, I won't consider it to be my art (it would take a large, very large amount of money to get me to do a commission). I don't want the conditions of ABC to ever creep into my art. I didn't determine ABC so I don't feel it is mine. Same goes for the Pandas and Mini-Golf. I did not decide to paint a Panda or build a mini-golf hole. The ABC was determined for me and I feel that restricts me and my art. I wasn't fully creative since I didn't not come up with all of the ideas and parameters.

So, while I won't go as far as to say the Last Judgement is not art, I will say that if I fulfilled a commission request, I would not feel it was art. I agree that the artist decides if what they make is art so Michaelangelo may feel it is art. I would not.

Hey Joseph, want to give me a ride to the insane asylum???

[J.T. Kirkland]

Scott,

I guess what I would say is it is great Painting, but maybe not great Art. Painting meaning a tool of profit and illustration. Art being an expression of a personal idea or feeling.

A modern day example might be someone who draws insects for a biology textbook. It could be very good drawing demonstrating lots of talent, but I don't consider it Art.

One other way of thinking about it might be: Expression versus Depiction. This is a topic I want to write more about in the future.

[Joseph Barbaccia]

Got me goin here. Is it the shape of the thing an artist paints on that makes it art? It's OK to paint on a white rectangle but not a white bear shape? How about 2003's winner of The Turner Prize, Grayson Perry who painted on vases! I know he made the vases. But the vases were not anything Turner prize worthy. Is it Pandas? Somehow a recognizably shaped canvas throws everyone into an elitist tizzy. "Elitist Tizzy", I like that.
Pandas not art. Rectangles art. I guess I just don't know where to place my bounderies. Should I stay within the rectangle? Oh people, all this has been talked about for decades! Where've you been?

[Joseph Barbaccia]

JT,

Sorry I've arrived and they won't let me out.

You didn't answer my question.

What perameters are you not control of and accept while creating your work?

[Whooda Thunkit]

Christine,

If I go out of the lines, does that count?

[J.T. Kirkland]

Joseph,

My answers are above. Pay close attention to the "commission as art" comment. I think that sums up my position.

Let me know and I can re-word it if necessary.

Siimply stated, it has nothing to do with the shape of the thing.

[Scott]

JT,
That seems like a pretty limiting definition of art. Why does art have to be an expression of a "personal" idea or feeling? Why not an expression of a "communal" or "societal" idea or feeling, albeit a "personal expression." I frankly think that is a problem with alot of art I see these days -- it's too focused on the personal and not enough on the societal. I'm not saying that donkeys or putt-putt courses are the answer -- maybe they are really stupid societal ideas. I simply don't think the choice (or lack thereof) is the real issue.
Scott

[J.T. Kirkland]

Scott,

I think you are talking about subject matter. An artist whose subject matter is societal issues most likely takes these issues very personally. They want to make art that speaks to a communal idea because it is important to them.

But, if someone approaches you and says I want you to go to Iraq and photograph the war in black and white, then that, to me, is not Art. You may accept the parameters, but you didn't define the parameters.

So, by "personal idea or feeling" I'm saying that the artist decides what their art will be about. The subject matter can be anything as long as the artist chooses it and not someone else (personal). This gets back to the idea of commissions as art. For me, and I ultimately decide what is my art, it doesn't qualify.

Here's another example. Say there's an artist somewhere pining away in his studio making mini-golf holes that reflect Arlington County. He checks his mail and finds that there will be a show of mini-golf holes and he submits a proposal. This IS art. But, if someone never even considered making a mini-golf hole but decides to submit a proposal at the Ellipse's request, then he/she has been commissioned.

I don't make art to fit parameters of shows. If it isn't show that fits my art then it isn't a show for me.